Following on from
my story below... So, within a couple of days I'd gone from grieving for all the babies I could never have to suddenly finding out I was over 18 weeks pregnant. Looking back I think I was in a daze - almost like being drunk - having everything I'd ever wished for but it all being a bit blurry and feeling like I was dreaming - just being pushed along with all the medical appointments rushing along - my 1st ante-natal appointment was on 21st May with the consultant professor who had looked after me throughout all my other pregnancies - he was somewhat surprised to say the least! I had to contact my doctors surgery and find my wonderful midwife who had cared for me for my previous pregnancies. So, I had my first appointment with Caroline which was very emotional. My next appointment was on May 29th for my 20 week Foetal Anomaly Scan. This was the most reassuring. I'd been so worried that the HRT would affect the baby. My consultant had reassured me that the HRT that I had been taking - Elleste Duet Conti June 2007-March 2008 and then Premique from March till May 2008 should not have any adverse affect on the foetus. I began to relax when we saw the fully formed baby on the ultrasound scan. It was perfect. But come on, how on earth could I not have known? The nausea, bloating, lack of energy ... I'd even been to see my GP - and he just changed my HRT - didn't even think to check if I was pregnant. It seems so unfair that they symptoms of pregnancy and HRT issues are the same - what is mother nature thinking about - so very cruel. I had a phone call from the original doctor who diagnosed me with POF - I think he was a bit concerned that I was going to sue him! Apparently they have now changed the full practice now in Northamptonshire, England. You see, I have it in writing that I have absolutely 100% no chance at all that I would ever conceive - this is a direct quote from the letter I received after my initial diagnosis " diagnosis is idiopathic premature menopause ... no prospect of this improving or of her achieving either a natural or an IVF pregnancy". Not once was I ever told that there was a slight possibility of conception. I have since learned that 5-10% of all women diagnosed do actually conceive. If I had of known that there was a chance of pregnancy, even a slight one, I would have done everything in my power to conceive. But to speak from my heart, it was only when I had come to terms with the fact that I would never be pregnant again that I actually conceived? Where's the sense in that? I do now know that women like me are now not completely written off and that the diagnosis letter is now a little less final and women are given a glimmer of hope. And for that I am thankful.
