POF Trials

After giving birth to Boo, I began to worry whether my POF would have any effect on my girls or my sister - was it hereditary?  My mum had an early menopause so I guess it wasn't a huge surprise to her when I was diagnosed.  My sister, on my doctors advise took a blood test to check her FSH levels and they were at 7, which was great news. She has gone on to have 2 babies and I'm so thankful that she had no trouble conceiving.

I decided to look a little further into how this could affect my daughters and ended up taking part in some trials in London. My husband had seen an article on the internet from The Daisy Network asking for participants who had recently been diagnosed with POF. Boo was just over 1 when I started. It was a 2 year trial, (Treatment of Premature Failure) and I opted to go 'drug free', so no HRT at all. Every 3 months I travelled to London, had a bone density scan, an internal scan, blood tests and mental health questionnaires.

The blood tests showed that my FSH levels remained high, the bone scans showed that my bone density was reducing fairly quickly, and that I needed to take HRT (until the age of 55). The internal scans showed my shrivelled ovaries - they looked like tiny grapes, with no life left in them. That was the hardest part of it all really. The mental health questionnaires showed that I was okay but not brilliant! I imagine the previous few years had taken it's toll and I was a little depressed. Hard to imagine being depressed when I had everything I ever wished for, but the fluctuating hormones in my body took over and I had no real control over my emotions. I think my body was still menopausal, and with no drugs to control everything, it was seen as being pretty normal to feel the way I was feeling.

It was kind of sad finishing the trial but I did feel that I had helped a little with the research, above and beyond everything else, my daughters may find it a little easier to find information on POF should they ever need it. It also gave them the ability to go to London, to my trial centre,  and have some blood tests when they are older to check their hormone levels. At least that way they will know sooner if there is the possibility of having any problems with conceiving. I share everything with them, in a gentle way, but they are very aware that Boo was a miracle and they understand the reasons why she was such a surprise.

So, I'm now taking Premique again, for another 11 years at least. I do think it balances me somewhat. I don't always feel on top of the world but I'm now 44 and busy with all the girls and their lives, so I do believe that naturally life does become a bit more tiring and running around after the little one is certainly demanding at times.  She's such a character - phenomenally bright and still as feisty as ever!

And then there were 4!

On my way back from dropping my girls off at school this morning I started thinking about their personalities. It's odd to think of how different they are considering they were made the same way by the same people. I wondered if it has something to do with how I felt throughout each pregnancy and perhaps there was something in that?
Rose is very relaxed, almost too much at times!
Jean is super-sensitive, likes everything planned and doesn't like surprises.
Fleur has boundless energy and enthusiasm for everything life offers her.
Boo is a determined, feisty, independant child who likes her own company and everything her own way ... all the time!

My first pregnancy was very relaxed - I thought I knew a lot about babies as I'd helped my mum bring up my brother and sister who are 11 and 10 years younger than me. I got a massive surprise when Rose was born and realised I actually didn't know very much at all! The birth was amazing and easy considering it was my first and she came out very peaceful with her eyes open.
Jean's pregnancy was very fraught as I worried about losing her as I'd miscarried after Rose. She entered the world loud and red faced.
Fleurs birth was super speedy - all done in less than an hour. But she came out blue and I'm sure I didn't breath until they suctioned her and got her breathing again. I was so busy looking after the other 2 and running a business that the pregnancy whizzed by at such a speed.

As you're aware, number 4 was a completely different as I didn't know I was pregnant until 18 weeks! I spent the following 22 weeks in a sort of state of disbelief really. I became quite isolated from people, as their reaction to the pregnancy was strange and I had to hold all of my emotions and anxieties inside as I didn't want my true feelings to impact on the other girls. I basically just knuckled down and got on with it, on my own most of the time.  It's interesting that Boo, although she likes being with other people, is so independant that being on her own is good for her. It has to be done her way or else.  I guess that's like the pregnancy.

The birth was interesting. I had the same consultant as I had for the other 3 so when it came close to time, I asked for an elective inducement. I was so worried that I would be at home with the girls and have such a speedy delivery that they would end up acting as mini midwives. My husband was working in Brighton which is 3 hours from home.  Fortunately the consultant agreed and I was taken in and my waters were broken at about midnight. She was born at 9.10am the following morning. My longest labour.  Which was good for the paramedics and nurses that were training as they all took turns in witnessing my labour and her birth. My payback to the NHS!

Our lives now are a little mad really - not much time for anything - certainly no time for me or my husband. Although I'm not complaining. I always wanted a big family and I'm blessed to have 4 healthy gorgeous children. I count my lucky stars every day. The girls are now 14, 12, 10 and 5 and life revolves around making sure they are in the right place at the right time will all the right equipment. I wouldn't have it any other way. My baby turned 5 yesterday. I honestly still cannot believe how lucky I am to have her.