2022 Update

I cannot believe that the last time I updated this blog was in 2015. Three of my babies are now fully fledged adults and I have a 13 year old who rules the roost. I thought I'd firstly give you all a brief summary of where and what everyone is doing since I last posted. Rose is 22, graduated with a Sociology degree (it's an Ology!), Jean is in her 3rd year of Edinburgh University working towards a Masters in Spanish and French and is currently living and working in Madrid.  Fleur is studying Natural Sciences at Durham University - in her first year. They fulfil the personalities that I predicted back in 2013 which is quite bizarre! Although Rose isn't quite so relaxed these days being a working woman with a huge London rent to pay - she has a long term boyfriend who I think she will marry - he was the first boy she kissed when she was 13 and aside from a couple of years break when they were finding out who they were, they are fully together and behave like an old married couple, showing love and annoyance toward each other in equal measure. She is living with a dear friend from school and works really successfully in recruitment. She takes on the role as the eldest child, makes great choices, is assertive, organised and funny. She makes me smile, a lot. My Number 2, who I speak to 100 times a day has become the bravest soul. Such a homebird and a mummy supporter, full of advice (which I trust and take). She takes my breath away with her courage and kindness. And Fleur, the brightest star, taking top place in her A levels in her school, she doesn't quite realise how amazing she is. Fun and enthusiasm should be in her name. She lights up a room with her positive aura. They are all equally amazing and fill my heart with pride and love.

And then there is my Boo. The other girls tease me that she is my favourite and I tell them that they are all equally my favourites (which is true) but it weirdly feels like Boo is all mine. She reads me, she gives me such joy, she looks different to her sisters, she squeezes me so tightly when I tuck her in at nights. I asked her last night to always squeeze me so tightly when she cuddles me, even when she is 30 and she promised she would. She has no inhibitions with who she is. She is decisive and fearless. She's the first pupil in her school in 25 years to be awarded 3 scholarships to her Senior School. The HRT I was taking throughout most of my pregnancy with her has obviously had no effect on her at all which is such a relief. My incredible child who should never have existed. How did I get so lucky with my 4 daughters. And boy is she loved. Totally and completely by all of us. Her sisters love her more than the world. She is secure and therefore confident to take risks and just be herself.

I'm doing well. 53 now and still taking Premique Low Dose, 1 tablet a day all these years with no real idea when this will end. I get my blood pressure taken once a year (which is always within normal parameters) but apart form that I have had no support or guidance, so no end in sight and to be honest I don't really want to stop as I worry that my bones will suffer. I had a bone density scan a couple of years ago to check my reading and they were all good, exactly where they should be for a woman of my age. The HRT is a definite must for me. I did try and take up running a while back but ended up breaking my leg! Didn't trip, didn't fall, my poor body just got a shock that after all these years I suddenly started exercising. I've now joined a gym and am beginning to run and swim. It feels good and is helping my body (and mind) stay in some sort of shape. The bone density scan was so reassuring as my mum died nearly 3 years ago and although she had been very poorly for a long time with many illnesses, one of her most serious problems was osteoporosis. She broke her hip the Christmas before she died by gently knocking into a bedside cabinet. Her bones had no strength left in them at all. I often think that if she had taken HRT she wouldn't have ended up quite so ill and reclusive. She was so frail that she was scared to leave the house in her last couple of years in case she fell.

There have been a lot of ups and downs since I last updated this blog which I'll talk about in future posts (I plan to update on a weekly basis now that life is less chaotic), the death of my mum, a pilgrimage to my birth place and finding my birth father, my children leaving home. The greatest joys centre around my family, they give me a purpose.